When Loyalty Costs Your Peace: A VA Mentor’s Hard-Earned Reflection

Today, something unexpected hit me.

It wasn’t a task, a deadline, or the usual whirlwind of agency life.
It was a simple LinkedIn post — one that pierced straight through my heart.

It spoke about burnout, being undervalued, and the pain of giving your all only to feel unseen.

And as I read it, my eyes filled with tears.
Partly because of the words…
But mostly because of how deeply they echoed everything I’ve been carrying silently.

This isn’t just another “hard day” story.
This is a turning point — one that many freelancers, virtual assistants, and agency owners will understand.

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❤️ The Emotional Weight We Don’t Always Talk About

For more than a decade, I’ve been in the virtual assistance world.

I’ve worked with clients from all over the globe.
I’ve built teams, trained countless VAs, created opportunities, opened doors, and guided so many into careers that now support their families.

But what people rarely see is the emotional load behind it all.

Because along the way…

• I’ve been misunderstood.

• I’ve been undervalued.

• I’ve been taken for granted — not just by clients, but even by some VAs I wholeheartedly supported.

It’s a different kind of pain when you pour into people not just as “workers” but as humans…
…only to be misinterpreted or dismissed as if your heart didn’t matter.

And the hardest part?

Even the people closest to me sometimes don’t understand the weight I carry.

Not my husband.
Not my teammates.
Not the people who see only the strength but not the struggle.

Sometimes, I wonder:

“Am I being too emotional?”
“Am I being selfish for finally prioritizing myself?”
“Should I just endure because that’s what leaders do?”

But deep down, I know the truth.

I’m not selfish.
I’m not dramatic.
I’m not weak.

I’m human. And I’m tired.

🌸 The Moment You Know You’ve Reached Your Limit

Here’s what I have accepted about myself — something that many may not understand:

When I walk away from something, I never come back.

Once my mind reaches “I’m done,” then I am truly done.

It’s not bitterness.
It’s not impulsiveness.
It’s protection.

Because peace is not a luxury anymore — it’s a necessity.

Over the years, I’ve pushed myself beyond what was healthy:

• working late nights

• juggling multiple clients

• cleaning up others’ messes

• absorbing emotional baggage

• sacrificing rest

• holding teams together

• holding myself together

And when Danielle’s post appeared on my feed today, it felt like a message I didn’t know I needed:

“You can rebuild a career. You can earn back the money. But you cannot replace your peace, your rest, your sanity.”

That line hit me like a wave I could no longer swallow.

💛 A Quiet Announcement: I Am Making a Pivotal Decision Next Year

This is something only a few people know.

But next year, I’m making a major choice for my life and career.
One that will shock many.
One that even my husband doesn’t fully see coming.

It’s not a decision born from frustration, but from clarity.

I finally realized:

You can give and give and give… until you disappear.
And that is no longer the life I want.

I want to rebuild my life with:

✨ peace
✨ gentleness
✨ boundaries
✨ purpose

I want to love my work without losing myself in the process.
I want to empower others without depleting every ounce of my energy.
I want to be present — fully and honestly — in my own life.

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🤍 To the VAs I Have Trained and Loved Along the Way

This part is for you.

I have mentored so many of you over the years.
I have fought for your rates, defended your value, helped you craft portfolios, taught you skills, and prayed that you find good clients and a good life.

But I am also human.

And some of you have hurt me without even knowing.
Some have questioned my motives.
Some have taken for granted the very hand that lifted them.

This is not blame.
This is honesty.

I gave from a sincere place, and sometimes it was met with doubt.
But even then, I do not regret giving.
I do not regret teaching.
And I do not regret loving my work.

Because helping others is who I am.
And no amount of hurt will change that.

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🌱 So Here’s What I Am Choosing From Today Onward

1. I choose peace over pressure.

If something costs me my calm, I no longer want it.

2. I choose my health — mental, emotional, spiritual.

No dream is worth losing my sanity.

3. I choose to rebuild on my own terms.

Slow, intentional, aligned.

4. I choose boundaries.

Real, non-negotiable boundaries that protect my energy.

5. I choose to love myself gently.

There is only one me.
And God didn’t create me to be burned out and broken.

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🌻 If You’re Reading This and You Feel the Same…

Maybe you’re a VA who’s exhausted.
Maybe you’re a freelancer stretched too thin.
Maybe you’re a leader who’s tired of being strong all the time.

Please hear me:

You are not weak for wanting peace.
You are wise for choosing it.

You are not selfish for resting.
You are healing.

And you are not alone.

Just like you, I am learning how to rebuild myself — piece by piece — with compassion and clarity.

And if this is the start of your turning point too,
I pray that you choose yourself today,
and choose yourself again tomorrow.

Because your peace, your sanity, your soul —
those are irreplaceable.

And no amount of success is worth losing yourself.

— Loi 💛
Your VA Mentor